Tuesday, January 3, 2012
One day at a Time...
So the new year is apon us and its been off to an ok start, now that the tequila is out of my system =) I want to vent about two specific things today, friends and the girl friend. I wish things where alright in Kansas but things are not always as simple and clear.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
People Change
People either change for the better, or for the worse but once they have changed, there usually never the same. I have witnessed this first hand on a few occasions. It's always saddening when an individual changes so much that your relationship with them begins to fade. I believe I'm going through this right now, as I'm forced to watch the girl of my dreams pass right though my fingertips.
When I met her she was a free mind, capable of doing many great things. She was independent and had miles of freedom. She was once a force to be reckon with and she had so many great opportunities before her path. But now I'm afraid she has made a big mistake; that puts her in a horrible situation. As time moves forward, I can see this amazing woman, a woman I could of loved with all my heart, Drift away into someone else. And there is nothing I can do about it. All I can try and do is hold onto her for as long as I possibly can. Because soon she will be gone, like sand passing right through my fingertips, with nothing but a memory, of how great it once felt to hold the most precious diamond of them all.
When I met her she was a free mind, capable of doing many great things. She was independent and had miles of freedom. She was once a force to be reckon with and she had so many great opportunities before her path. But now I'm afraid she has made a big mistake; that puts her in a horrible situation. As time moves forward, I can see this amazing woman, a woman I could of loved with all my heart, Drift away into someone else. And there is nothing I can do about it. All I can try and do is hold onto her for as long as I possibly can. Because soon she will be gone, like sand passing right through my fingertips, with nothing but a memory, of how great it once felt to hold the most precious diamond of them all.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
To love or not to Love?
I've recently been faced with a very difficult and life changing decision as my love life has both started to flourish and crash all at the same time. It all started when i was transferred to this new store by an old boss that wanted me to be apart of his new team. So of course I accepted and began working right away. I have become friendly with all the new managers as well as my new crew. Their was this woman, a fellow manager that caught my eye more than most, as she had a unique demeanor, a very strong willed kind of woman that doesn't tolerate bull shit. I liked her immediately! As the months began to pass, our relationship grew and we started to become more and more personal, until my boss took a vacation and I had the wonderful opportunity to work side by side with her for 3 weeks. The more we talked, the more I liked, the more I wanted her to be mine... which eventually led me to asking her out.
When we finally had our first date, I had originally thought it didnt go so well and didn't expect anything to come of it. But than my birthday was looming around the corner and I was forced to work, yet she took the bold move and made reservations for us at her favorite restaurant when we both got off. I was both impressed with her wonderful gesture and the fact she wanted to have dinner with me again. As we went out and had a wonderful evening, I knew immediately that their was something different about her. She's The kind of woman that you just don't want let go, the kind that you can almost stand in Aw and wonder if your dreaming. I feel so drawn to her, like the needle on a face of a compass. I just cant escape her wonderful charm and nor do i want to. Shes the kind of woman that you could have the time of your life with, all while sitting in a parked car. She can be angry, happy or sad and it just doesn't matter, I just want to be next to her all the time. I almost feel like time stands still as if it was specially set aside by God himself for us. I get so lost in her mesmerizing eyes and she laughs at all my jokes and before long, its time to say goodbye. I get the pleasure of walking her out to her car everyday, and it takes every ounce of strength within me to refrain from grabbing and kissing her. She is very professional and thus we keep our interactions as Such.
On the rare occasions that I do get to hold her hand, I can feel a genuine connection and the thought of letting go becomes almost heart breaking. Ive never felt so at ease with a woman, so comfortable and relaxed, that the outside world just stops and doesn't seem to matter anymore. I could be loosing everything I own, but as long as I have her... I don't think I would care. I've never cared so much for another persons happiness that I'll go out of my way just to make her day rememberable. The most perfect day would consist of waking up to her beautiful smile and holding her close until she fell asleep. The mer fact that i'm not with her now, saddens me.
I cant begin to describe the feeling that overcomes me when she is around me, none of my ex's have ever evoke such a bond that I'm left feeling confused. She's an amazing woman, and a wonderful mother and all i can think is how I don't want to lose her, but yet fate always seems to be against me. Despite all that I feel, their is a negative... and it seems almost unfair, and wrong that such an event would happen to me. I've been patient, calm, and collective as I wait for my sol mate and the moment that I meet a woman that is beyond anything I could imagine... I might just have to say goodbye permanently.
My mind races through all kinds of thoughts, from crazy to radical, from logical to understanding and I feel like I'm standing before a giant wall, stuck with no carved out path. Is this the point where I must carve my own? Is it true that love has no boundaries? Can love really conquer all? Or should I just pass her by and keep on moving? What does our future hold? It seems so unknown and That i just don't know what i should do. Should I Listen to the crowds or maybe make a stand for something great in my life? But what if it doesn't turn out great? I don't want to crash my life so early into it.
When we finally had our first date, I had originally thought it didnt go so well and didn't expect anything to come of it. But than my birthday was looming around the corner and I was forced to work, yet she took the bold move and made reservations for us at her favorite restaurant when we both got off. I was both impressed with her wonderful gesture and the fact she wanted to have dinner with me again. As we went out and had a wonderful evening, I knew immediately that their was something different about her. She's The kind of woman that you just don't want let go, the kind that you can almost stand in Aw and wonder if your dreaming. I feel so drawn to her, like the needle on a face of a compass. I just cant escape her wonderful charm and nor do i want to. Shes the kind of woman that you could have the time of your life with, all while sitting in a parked car. She can be angry, happy or sad and it just doesn't matter, I just want to be next to her all the time. I almost feel like time stands still as if it was specially set aside by God himself for us. I get so lost in her mesmerizing eyes and she laughs at all my jokes and before long, its time to say goodbye. I get the pleasure of walking her out to her car everyday, and it takes every ounce of strength within me to refrain from grabbing and kissing her. She is very professional and thus we keep our interactions as Such.
On the rare occasions that I do get to hold her hand, I can feel a genuine connection and the thought of letting go becomes almost heart breaking. Ive never felt so at ease with a woman, so comfortable and relaxed, that the outside world just stops and doesn't seem to matter anymore. I could be loosing everything I own, but as long as I have her... I don't think I would care. I've never cared so much for another persons happiness that I'll go out of my way just to make her day rememberable. The most perfect day would consist of waking up to her beautiful smile and holding her close until she fell asleep. The mer fact that i'm not with her now, saddens me.
I cant begin to describe the feeling that overcomes me when she is around me, none of my ex's have ever evoke such a bond that I'm left feeling confused. She's an amazing woman, and a wonderful mother and all i can think is how I don't want to lose her, but yet fate always seems to be against me. Despite all that I feel, their is a negative... and it seems almost unfair, and wrong that such an event would happen to me. I've been patient, calm, and collective as I wait for my sol mate and the moment that I meet a woman that is beyond anything I could imagine... I might just have to say goodbye permanently.
My mind races through all kinds of thoughts, from crazy to radical, from logical to understanding and I feel like I'm standing before a giant wall, stuck with no carved out path. Is this the point where I must carve my own? Is it true that love has no boundaries? Can love really conquer all? Or should I just pass her by and keep on moving? What does our future hold? It seems so unknown and That i just don't know what i should do. Should I Listen to the crowds or maybe make a stand for something great in my life? But what if it doesn't turn out great? I don't want to crash my life so early into it.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Advice from People
I love talking to many different kinds of people and I love talking about turning points in specific situations. I have learned that there are specific types of people that I do not enjoy opening up too. I feel like they don't fully understand me, and my view points are often over looked and or are misinterpreted. For someone who likes to put all his cards on the table and make an educated decision this can pose a problem. For example if I don't feel comfortable enough with you to lay down all my cards, than I feel like the conversation was almost pointless; because it was kind of staged. If I choose to only lay down specific cards with specific people than I feel that I can lead individuals along to either agree or disagree with me. Which can be good or bad depending on what answers I'm personally looking for; however it makes me feel manipulative at times. A good example of this is my dad, we can talk about any kind of situations and tantalize all the possible out comes as if they could really happen and than make a informed decision based on our conclusion. However, I cant have that same kind of conversation with my aunt, who's body language and facial expressions makes a person want to hold onto all their cards and not put them down. So talking to my aunt at times is kind of like pulling teeth, because she wants to know what my cards read but I only let down the least important ones. I feel like I have a good mix of friends that are of both blends that I can talk to, but the ones that I enjoy to be around the most are the ones that know just how many Aces I'm holding and why they are so important
Monday, December 12, 2011
Intro
I feel like I need to venture beyond my normal writing and really write whats on my heart and soul. I'm choosing to blog instead of journal because I feel like I still need a little bit of a audience to help me entertain my crazy thoughts. I should start by saying I'm a young man in my twenties struggling with finding my internal happiness. I'm a God fearing man, and thus my view points will be reflecting that. I'm frustrated with the dating scene and the various situations that I seem to find my life in. I'm tired of the world, and the unreal bizarreness that I seem to face every single day. I'm hoping that his blog will help me relieve many of my internal frustrations, with both myself and others.
I'm a Libra, and although I don't believe in horoscopes or zodiac signs in anyway, I find it funny that most of the definitions fit me perfectly. I hope that this personal Manifesto will both be entertaining and educational; but its main purpose will be used to help me express myself in a different way. It will serve as a personal journal and a record of my personal life. I plan on covering an array of topics here, from both work to dating; and from friends to family. Both dreams and hopes, to fears and failures, this will be the story of me and the challenges and sucesses that I face.
- Cody Duran
I'm a Libra, and although I don't believe in horoscopes or zodiac signs in anyway, I find it funny that most of the definitions fit me perfectly. I hope that this personal Manifesto will both be entertaining and educational; but its main purpose will be used to help me express myself in a different way. It will serve as a personal journal and a record of my personal life. I plan on covering an array of topics here, from both work to dating; and from friends to family. Both dreams and hopes, to fears and failures, this will be the story of me and the challenges and sucesses that I face.
- Cody Duran
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