I've recently been faced with a very difficult and life changing decision as my love life has both started to flourish and crash all at the same time. It all started when i was transferred to this new store by an old boss that wanted me to be apart of his new team. So of course I accepted and began working right away. I have become friendly with all the new managers as well as my new crew. Their was this woman, a fellow manager that caught my eye more than most, as she had a unique demeanor, a very strong willed kind of woman that doesn't tolerate bull shit. I liked her immediately! As the months began to pass, our relationship grew and we started to become more and more personal, until my boss took a vacation and I had the wonderful opportunity to work side by side with her for 3 weeks. The more we talked, the more I liked, the more I wanted her to be mine... which eventually led me to asking her out.
When we finally had our first date, I had originally thought it didnt go so well and didn't expect anything to come of it. But than my birthday was looming around the corner and I was forced to work, yet she took the bold move and made reservations for us at her favorite restaurant when we both got off. I was both impressed with her wonderful gesture and the fact she wanted to have dinner with me again. As we went out and had a wonderful evening, I knew immediately that their was something different about her. She's The kind of woman that you just don't want let go, the kind that you can almost stand in Aw and wonder if your dreaming. I feel so drawn to her, like the needle on a face of a compass. I just cant escape her wonderful charm and nor do i want to. Shes the kind of woman that you could have the time of your life with, all while sitting in a parked car. She can be angry, happy or sad and it just doesn't matter, I just want to be next to her all the time. I almost feel like time stands still as if it was specially set aside by God himself for us. I get so lost in her mesmerizing eyes and she laughs at all my jokes and before long, its time to say goodbye. I get the pleasure of walking her out to her car everyday, and it takes every ounce of strength within me to refrain from grabbing and kissing her. She is very professional and thus we keep our interactions as Such.
On the rare occasions that I do get to hold her hand, I can feel a genuine connection and the thought of letting go becomes almost heart breaking. Ive never felt so at ease with a woman, so comfortable and relaxed, that the outside world just stops and doesn't seem to matter anymore. I could be loosing everything I own, but as long as I have her... I don't think I would care. I've never cared so much for another persons happiness that I'll go out of my way just to make her day rememberable. The most perfect day would consist of waking up to her beautiful smile and holding her close until she fell asleep. The mer fact that i'm not with her now, saddens me.
I cant begin to describe the feeling that overcomes me when she is around me, none of my ex's have ever evoke such a bond that I'm left feeling confused. She's an amazing woman, and a wonderful mother and all i can think is how I don't want to lose her, but yet fate always seems to be against me. Despite all that I feel, their is a negative... and it seems almost unfair, and wrong that such an event would happen to me. I've been patient, calm, and collective as I wait for my sol mate and the moment that I meet a woman that is beyond anything I could imagine... I might just have to say goodbye permanently.
My mind races through all kinds of thoughts, from crazy to radical, from logical to understanding and I feel like I'm standing before a giant wall, stuck with no carved out path. Is this the point where I must carve my own? Is it true that love has no boundaries? Can love really conquer all? Or should I just pass her by and keep on moving? What does our future hold? It seems so unknown and That i just don't know what i should do. Should I Listen to the crowds or maybe make a stand for something great in my life? But what if it doesn't turn out great? I don't want to crash my life so early into it.
No comments:
Post a Comment